Category Archives: rituals

white oath:

white oath:

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July 10, 2013 · 6:52 pm

come on die young:

an idea can be a simple thing
the impulse to mention something
to shake somebody’s hand
a thought that manifests in action
looks upon faces registering acceptance
& maybe a mention of time
to be something more than words inside
that within seconds are often swept away
for some reason this one remains
days later phones ring &
plates are contemplated
it leads to other things
& before you even realize
the favour is returned.

turning
over time
into family
friendships,
are worth fighting for.

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Filed under childhood memories, family, fire, friends, lovethisshit, optimism, rituals, thought lines, what about linus?, words, writing

:release

it’s hard talking about love. people always talk about how they can’t define it, it’s a noble feat to live your life trying to. i want to be well-respected & loved. i wanted to be famous but after the life i’ve lead i’d be happier just to be alive. when i stopped wanting to be famous i overcompensated with everything to try & pretend i didn’t care. all in a vain effort to conceal the reason for my decisions. when i lost people i didn’t live in a way that honoured them. at the time i bandied around the word “lukewarm” – it was a word i used a lot to decipher what i thought was weak. to be “lukewarm” was the worst thing imaginable to me at the time. to have failed. the truth is, i never really got over it. the reality, of what had happened that is. it’s prophetic when you start repeating things to yourself, to be become what you fear. we’re defined by our failures, just hopefully not remembered for them. we’ve done the things we do so many times before. to climb over the wall.  to mean it. to take the time it takes. i fear for the few who were smart enough to see it but didn’t stick around long enough to change.

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Filed under † † †, beginning, cheap thrills, definition, engine down, rituals, words, worn, writing

† † † every day is halloween † † †

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Filed under and the kid that plays piano..., † † †, black & white, burning star, candy ass, cave, cemetery, cheap thrills, fire, halloween, i love charlie brown, images, jack-o-lanterns, late late night, light, lucy is a bitch!, night, photos, pictures, pumpkin, rituals, snoopy's good too, trick or treat, what about linus?

:leaders of men

leaders of men

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Filed under black & white, cowboy, leaders of men, noise, patrol, photos, pictures, rituals, sheet, signals, signs, singing

say you don’t mind:

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Filed under black & white, fire, flowers, halo, house, images, late late night, light, night, photos, pictures, rituals, skies above, white wall

six bells chime:

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Filed under black & white, burning star, cave, cemetery, clock, deadend, fire, halo, images, light, night, photos, pictures, rituals

:another monster

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Filed under bear, black & white, cheeseburger, cowboy, critter, friends, halo, images, late late night, light, night, photos, pictures, rituals, telephono

:church on white

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Filed under black & white, cemetery, clock, images, light, photos, pictures, rituals, white wall, wire, your move sucker

daily mirage:

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Filed under black & white, cemetery, deadend, halloween, images, laugh, lovethisshit, photos, pictures, rituals, your move sucker

b movie:

It always started on a sunday afternoon around 6 o’clock, when I’d finish skateboarding for the day & decide it was time to head home. The sun would come down fast & although that usually didn’t stop me, it was easier to appear for dinner than to argue why I hadn’t. If I was lucky, my walkman batteries would last the entire way home. There was Jane’s Addiction on one side & New Order on the other.


In the final stages of rolling home, a huge knot would start to form deep in my stomach. That the weekend was dying, killed me. To restart that mindless cycle made me care even less about the useless contents that filled it. I’d stop worrying that I smelt like smoke & sit down at the table. I could always tell how drunk my father was by how inedible the meal was, for some reason the more upset he was, the more salt we had to consume. There was still a childhood, buried beneath the backwards rituals.
You just had to be prepared to fight for it.


The time from 8:30 until around 10:15 used to pass so quickly, but this was an education. I was obsessed with the idea of the sunday night movie for many reasons. When I look back, they were often the films that formed the conversations on which many early friendships were born. To be able to talk violence & drama was to walk forward in the schoolyard.
To make people laugh.


If I was lucky,
I would arrange my evening so I could stay awake all night.
To stay awake & keep up with the world seemed to be the perfect way to flip the finger to the pain building in my stomach & the anger I felt towards a life lived beyond my control. It’s a mere coincidence that I developed a taste for stranger movies as I wanted to stay up later & later.


A by-product.
A secret handshake.
A greater social ammunition.

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Filed under films, fire, friends, jane's addiction, laugh, movies, new order, night, opinion, optimism, real, rituals, skateboarding, words, writing, your move sucker