whenever i walk up a flight of stairs
if i do not concentrate completely,
at one point i fear falling & almost fall.
my brain miscalculates the distance & i
can’t seem to place my feet in the right position
i grab the hand rail & steady myself,
it haunts me & i can never seem to shake it.
it’s due to a recurring dream
i have about escalators.
my paranoia tricks my sleeping mind into believing
that hundreds of miles high above the world
on an escalator with no handrails,
that i’m trapped.
in the sky the steepest test
climbs up beyond the clouds
an ascent without end
on a moving staircase,
that i must remain upon to escape.
my fear is that by doing anything
other than standing still,
i’ll fall to my doom.
the height of the see-through platforms
on which my toes tremble,
just makes me freeze.
i’d drop to my knees
lowering my sense of gravity
clinging closer to the separated steps.
i used to have the dream when,
for some reason i’d been dizzy
during that day
i’d wake up sweating at night
trying to gasp fresh air from the gap
between the top of the window and the windowframe,
in an effort not to be sick.
as this trait is now a part of me,
where one could go to read it on my body.
imagine if fingerprints could give such
detailed information about
us as individuals
to those in the future or now,
about our fears.
i still have the dream
but more often than not
i wonder what sounds our fingerprints
& dna would make,
if we could record them.